Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
