guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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