i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
