the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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