never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
