once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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