and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
