Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
