Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
