White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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