can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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