4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
