life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
