I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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