it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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