So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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