I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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