i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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