I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
