dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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