I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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