I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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