im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
