:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
