Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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