if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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