A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
send nudes
from the living room?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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