There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
