just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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