New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
honey bunches of taint.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
