My first STD was from a foam party
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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