Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
