The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
