you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
