Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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