another moral hangover. fuck.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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