Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...