Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Special does not even begin to describe that text.

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  (323): i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet. (918): Special does not even begin to describe that text. http://tfl.nu/d8xn
  Replies (6) Good night (3442) Bad night (1283)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.

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  (612): I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good. http://tfl.nu/ra59
  Replies (91) Good night (5917) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.

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  (310): Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready. http://tfl.nu/0n0r
  Replies (16) Good night (6916) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair

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  (985): And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair http://tfl.nu/0fee
  Replies (16) Good night (6205) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know how to spell recollection?

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  (724): You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there (412): You know how to spell recollection? http://tfl.nu/3vjh
  Replies (16) Good night (5337) Bad night (1276)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.

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  (508): My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/cfj7
  Replies (7) Good night (3298) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need a plan...

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.

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  (512): We need a plan... (1-512): Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan. http://tfl.nu/879h
  Replies (36) Good night (6332) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.

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  (814): Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis. http://tfl.nu/uw51
  Replies (5) Good night (2064) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.

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  (859): the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything. http://tfl.nu/cxc9
  Replies (9) Good night (1814) Bad night (2023) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar

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  (909): I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar http://tfl.nu/dhbh
  Replies (5) Good night (1568) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head

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  (780): I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head http://tfl.nu/nc7k
  Replies (6) Good night (3084) Bad night (785)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.

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  (312): I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other. http://tfl.nu/w5qg
  Replies (20) Good night (1723) Bad night (668)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.

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  (913): You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic. http://tfl.nu/rxwg
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now

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  (724): Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now http://tfl.nu/jdhz
  Replies (8) Good night (816) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.

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  (310): My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever. http://tfl.nu/d22o
  Replies (6) Good night (3205) Bad night (355)

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