The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh