No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
