Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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