everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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