we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize