he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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