Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
