ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
