sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
