does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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