I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
