You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
