i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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