Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
