We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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