Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
