this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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