i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
