you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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