So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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