No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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