Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
