No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
