Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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