I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
