Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
